A Quick Course in Technical Writing

A Quick Course in Technical Writing

by Neil Christiansen

Occasionally we like to share "professional secrets." Technical Publications would like to share with all of you the ten easy steps to technical writing. You can become a first rate technical writer in a matter of hours. Just follow the simple tips below. Remember: simple, direct, and coherent sentances are the sign of a sick mind.

  1. Start with a simple statement

    We quit. Why? Nobody knew how to program the computer.

  2. Put it in the passive voice and dilute the responsibility

    It was decided to quit.

  3. Expand with terminology that does not add meaning

    It was decided to terminate.

  4. Construct noun strings

    It was decided to terminate project process.

  5. Add a qualifier of uncertain relation to the original statement

    On account of the status of the computer, it was decided to terminate project process.

  6. Add noun strings and terminology to the qualifier

    On account of the status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, it was decided to terminate project process.

  7. Separate related words

    On account of the status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, it was decided to terminate until a later date project process.

  8. Equivocate

    On account of the uncertain status of the computer program asessment planning development effort, it was proposed and tentatively accepted to terminate until a later date project process.

  9. Obfuscate

    Due to the uncertainties of the status of the computer program asessment planning development effort, proposals were carefully considered and tentatively adopted to suspend temporarily until a later date project process.

  10. Cover your tracks and make yourself look good

    Due to unavoidable uncertainties of the status of the computer program asessment planning development effort, a number of contingency proposals were carefully considered and one was tentatively adopted to suspend on a temporary basis until a later date those project processes deemed unessential to the expeditious fulfillment of contract requirements.


kristin@re.org